By Teneishae Coleman
Healing doesn’t end with a single breakthrough. It’s a decision you make again and again to choose yourself, to walk in grace, and to move forward even when it’s uncomfortable. After writing Growth, Grace, and Moving Forward, I realized how many of us are learning to leave behind the woman we thought we had to be to become the woman we were always meant to be.
This follow-up isn’t about the ahh haa moment. It’s about what happens next, as I call it now the daily discipline of becoming her.
I used to believe that growth had to be loud, big moves, bold exits, or complete overhauls. But what I’ve learned since my reset is that real growth is often quiet. It’s choosing peace over proving a point. It’s learning to stop explaining yourself to people committed to misunderstanding you. It’s waking up and choosing softness in a world that keeps telling you to be hard or rigid.
Small Steps, Big Shifts
I started setting boundaries, not as a way to push people away, but as a way to protect the version of me I’m building. I learned to say “no” without guilt and “yes” with confidence. I became intentional about who I give my energy to and even more intentional about where I allow my thoughts to live.
It’s in those small decisions, like ending the call early when it starts feeling draining, declining the invitation that doesn’t align, and letting go of the apology that was never going to be enough, that we truly become.
Loving Myself Without Apology
Loving myself hasn’t always come easy. For years, I tied my worth to how useful I was to others. But grace taught me that I am not a transaction; I am a whole, sacred woman who deserves softness, security, and space to grow.
These days, I affirm myself more than I question myself. I no longer shrink to fit into places I’ve outgrown. I don’t chase people; I attract alignment. And when something doesn’t feel right, I don’t force it; I release it.
I am not perfect. But I am present. And that’s enough.
Becoming Her
“Becoming her” is not about becoming someone new; it’s about returning to yourself. It’s peeling back the layers that life, heartbreak, and trauma forced you to wear. It’s coming back to your truth, your power, your softness, and your brilliance.
Here’s who she is becoming:
- A woman who leads with love but no longer loses herself in the process.
- A woman who honors her healing, even when others don’t understand it.
- A woman who chooses peace, clarity, and joy over chaos, confusion, and crumbs.
Every day, I make the choice to become her, and every day, that choice gets a little easier.
Final Reflection
If you’re still healing, know this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to stay committed to yourself. The grace that helped you get this far will keep guiding you.
Keep becoming. Keep choosing you.
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